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Motivation
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leisakura

     Those who know me know I tend to question almost everything and everything. I am a very conceptual person, and can pull ideas from any area and apply them to my life.  If only I could maintain the discipline to focus and concentrate on one main area of academia, perhaps my life would be somewhat simpler.
     I like science in general. I like discovering new things and I like understanding things around me. I like piecing together different areas too and seeing how they all fit together. Sometimes it's frustrating learning something for the first time, but when you look back on old textbooks or you have to explain something to another student, you feel such a sense of accomplishment.
     I used to tutor in high school, and I would explain things in such different ways, but I always got through to whoever I was teaching fairly easily, and they seemed to hold onto concepts I taught them well. I got this girl from an F to a C in a week once, and I felt great about it. Another I tutored once or twice a week long term, and I liked it. It reinforced what I knew, and I made some extra money. Hopefully when I finally go back and visit my old high school I can see my old chemistry teacher as well and thank her... she was the most dedicated and kind teacher I've had. She always seemed to support me and actually seemed to want me to succeed.
     One area I've indeed spent a great deal more energy on in the recent past is technology. I keep on learning new things about new technologies coming out, how things work, and other such things. As challenging as CS180 has been, I still find it interesting. I'm not sure how I feel about programming in java just yet, but I'm fascinated to some extent still.... sad or not. I like math, I just find it hard to sit down and do homework still. Programming is kinda like problem solving, and I like that. Bonus: it feeds into my weird perfectionism niche that I have when I take notes and such. When I finished my cs projects, the sense of accomplishment I felt was just awesome. I just hope I finish this one... concurrent programming.
     One of my friends had me help him install a cooling system for his CPU (computer processing unit), so that was really neat. He seemed impressed that I knew what RAM stood for (Random Access Memory). He spent like an hour or two explaining the drawbacks to RAM, but how we still need it. He explained some of the hardware aspects of the motherboard and though I was losing a bit of focus towards the end, I found it fascinating. It just made so much sense. It also helped that I was able to use what my friend Tim taught me about bits and bytes for data storage.
      I still like the whole area of medicine and psychology as well. I think if I can't figure out what I want to do I should find something to do where I help people as a job. The human body is definitely a fascinating topic, as is the way the brain works. I've also known a lot of doctors throughout my life, and most of them are happy and usually very interesting people. They seem to love what they do, and I could see myself doing something like that one day. Whatever I end up doing I want to really love it.
     On another note, I still love to dance more than anyone I know personally. It has always been a source of happiness and an outlet for any emotion that I can't seem to get out. I love singing and dancing. When I do either, it's like I don't have to think too much, that I can just let the music flow through me. I've been dancing my whole life, my first lesson was when I was two I believe, and I can't imagine being able to live without it. Lately it's been even better because I have friends that love to go dancing with me. Devin always seems to like dancing with me :)
     I better get back to studying for my exam tomorrow night. I feel much better about school right now, I just hope this attitude stays and I don't get too overwhelmed this week. At least I have spring break coming up, it'll be nice to go see my brothers, and just take a short visit to the life I haven't really seen in years.
    
    


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